A Broken Flower
by gentleness28
Summary: This is Florina's journal as she copes with her life after a disasterous relationship. (Alternate Universe--kind of...)
1. Entry 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character's in this story except maybe the mystery guy...  
  
Rebecca: I thought you were going to write another story about me!  
  
Me: Well, yeah, but Florina's cool too, don't you think?  
  
Rebecca: But she seems kind of depressed...  
  
Me: Right now she is because...well...read the story and you'll find out! It IS angst, you know...  
  
Rebecca: Yeah, whatever. Now onto the story!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They told me to leave him, but did I listen? Of course not. I kept telling myself that they were being overprotective older sisters. First, it was Fiora, and then Farina soon told me that he wasn't the right one for me. But I still didn't listen, and this is what I got for it.  
  
People say that writing it all down will help me cope. Hah. They don't know anything. How can I take advice from people that haven't gone through the same thing I have? Yeah, I can't. I know they're just trying to help, but I wish they would all just go away...  
  
It would be so easy to end it all right now. The knife is so pretty and smooth. It was a gift from him. Maybe he knew what he would drive me to do in the end. I know I should hate him, but I'm just too drained. I would be surprised if I still had some blood in me...I feel so cold, so empty. He said that he would give me all kinds of gifts, but did he? No. He just kept on taking. Oh, I didn't know that he was a taker at first. He hid his nature well—under a pleasant smile, a warm hug, a passionate embrace. I didn't know until it was too late. I didn't know that he had taken my friends, my family, my life...until it was too late.  
  
They're knocking at the door again. Why are Fiora and Farina so worried? I'm fine. Or I will be as soon as this horrible nightmare called my life is over. I wonder what they'll say when they find me here. I'm sure that they'll find me with a smile on my face because I'll finally be rid of him. He won't be able to follow me where I'm going. But...my friends and family won't be able to either...  
  
What would Lyn think? She would probably be sad for a while, but she's strong. She would get over me in a while. She's strong...not like me. I didn't even have the strength to leave him when I knew what he was really like. I used to feel safe and happy in his arms. Not anymore. I'll never feel safe in a man's arms again. He ruined my life, and I should've wanted to ruin his. But I didn't have the strength to do that either. Now he's probably off ruining another naïve girl's life. I wonder how many lives he's already ruined.  
  
I'm scared. Probably more scared than I've ever been in my life. Yes, I'm even more scared than when he...I don't think I can write it down. I don't know why I'm wasting my time writing this out. It's not like anything matters anymore...wait. That's not true. My sisters and friends matter a lot, but not as much as this knife matters. Contained in its seven inches of cold steel lies everything I hate and everything that can cure my hate. I suppose I hate him, and since this was a gift from him, I guess I hate this too. I guess it's true whatever they say about how hate can kill you...  
  
I should stop wasting my time, but I don't want to do it yet. They say that it doesn't hurt, but how would they know? They say that you're supposed to pass out, but they've never tried it. They hide behind their books and "knowledge" just so they won't have to deal with the real world. He wasn't like that. He would jump right into the real world, and jump right back out when it didn't agree with him. Nothing could phase him, and he would never lose. Maybe that's what attracted me to him in the first place. He was so free. I think that's what I wanted most of all. I wanted his lack of responsibility. I wanted his life.  
  
The knife is a lot colder than what I expected. I didn't even draw any blood. He would call me a coward right now. I can hear his mocking voice so clear. He was so nice at first, and he would never raise his voice. That changed quickly enough. I don't believe how I never noticed his changes. Well, he was a great actor, and I wanted to believe that he loved me. Hah. Love. He taught me a lot of things that a fifteen-year-old girl shouldn't know, but love wasn't one of them. He was a bad teacher. He hit me so much when I didn't do exactly what he told me to. I still didn't leave him, because sometimes he would be nice again. I guess I stayed with him, because I hoped that his good side would somehow win over the bad side. It took me too long to realize that he had no good side. It was all an illusion—a trick. I hate tricks, and I hate him.  
  
Maybe I don't hate him...I don't know. I'm so confused and tired right now. Maybe I'll sleep for a little bit before I... No, I can't. I'll just keep putting it off forever. No. It's now or never. Yeah, I say that, but it's a lot harder than what I expected. I never liked blood, and seeing mine on the floor... It's only a little bit—hardly a speck even—but it's still blood. I wish someone would help me. My hands are shaking too much to do it properly. I wouldn't want to hurt more than I have to...  
  
They're incessant knocking is getting on my nerves! Why can't my sisters just leave me alone? All they ever did was nag me about leaving him. Maybe that's why I stayed with him—just to show them that I didn't need to always run to them with my problems. He was my problem. I was supposed to be able to deal with him on my own. But I couldn't, could I? Guess that shows how weak I was. But now this stupid knife and my shaky hands are my problems. I should be strong enough to deal with them. Yes, this shouldn't be too hard.  
  
Stupid hands! They won't obey. They keep on shaking and shaking. Oh great, now my vision's starting to get blurry. I just had to start crying, didn't I? Now I won't be able to see my ARM much less my vein. This isn't working out too good... I think I'm just going to go to sleep and deal with all of this later. That is...if my sisters will stop pounding on the stupid door! If they keep doing that, they'll break it. Oh well, not my problem... I'll deal with it later. I'll deal with the knife later. I'll deal with my hands later. Heck, I'll even deal with the whole world, if only I could get some sleep and deal with it later!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rebecca: Waaaa! You better not let her die!!!!  
  
Me: *gulp* Sheesh! She's not going to die... She just has to be really sad, so a special someone can help her cope.  
  
Rebecca: Ooooh! A special someone, huh? Wonder who it is...  
  
Me: Keep wondering.  
  
Rebecca: Hey, I'm your muse! Shouldn't I know?  
  
Me: Actually, it depends on who the reviewers want Florina to end up with. Hehehe.  
  
Rebecca: Hear that people? REVIEW and put your favorite Florina pairing in it! Pleeeeeease!!! Our authoress here can use all the help she can get.  
  
Me: Hey!  
  
Rebecca: ^_________^  
  
Me: Oh, and also, I don't know if I should change the rating to R or not, because I never describe anything, but there are a WHOLE lot of hints and stuff... I would like some advice on that...  
  
Rebecca: Yeah, and if you didn't like this, please tell us why. Just don't say you don't like it... Thanks so much! 


	2. Entry 2

Disclaimer: Do I have to? ...Fine! I don't own any of the Fire Emblem characters!! Happy now?!  
  
Rebecca: Sheesh! You don't have to be so rude about not owning anything...  
  
Me: Yeah, sorry about that.  
  
Rebecca: Whatever. Anyways...we should move onto the thank- yous. 

* * *

SkyFireZero: I try to make my stories error-free, but I don't always succeed... Spellcheck doesn't check grammar right! It's fine if you want to point out any mistakes that I make, and thanks for catching that "their" problem. Yeah, I get those wrong all the time and don't even notice...hehehe. Um...I was going to change the rating, but it seems like the only dark chapter was the first one. I would like to try and keep it PG-13 if I could... Florina/Hector is a pretty popular couple—seeing as it's Florina's only one that's backed up with the game's support conversation system. Hm...Florina/Wil? That's a cute couple. Florina/Lucius? Wow, I wouldn't have thought of that on my own... Florina/Lyn? Um...no shonen-ai for me. Hahaha! I like your signature, and thanks for reviewing!!  
  
The Story Master 125: Don't worry, my muse is very wise and worthy of listening to. Therefore, Florina will keep on living as the unstoppable Pegasus Knight! (I haven't upgraded her yet in my game...TT) I want a FalcoKnight...hehehe. Oh, wow! You must really like the pairing Florina/Wil, huh? Yeah, I suppose that Wil would be pretty perfect for Florina (if Rebecca wasn't in the picture ) Yes, Hector would probably scare her badly, especially after having to go through an episode like what she's going through right now... I guess that Hector wouldn't be a good choice to help her cope, right? Um...I was going to change the rating to R, but then I realized that the only dark chapter is really the first one. Hopefully she won't be as depressed in the next chapters.... Actually, the guy that was mean to Florina is kind of an OC. I couldn't think of any of the dear Fire Emblem characters doing anything like this...that would be so sad! Yes, I think my pairing will be Florina/Wil now, so thanks for all the support and reviews!  
  
Houyoku: Wow, I think I was semi-depressed or something...but I'm better now! Aww...thanks! This is my first diary-type story, so I'm so glad that you think it's realistic and emotional! That's what I was aiming for. It's a little hard for me, though, since I usually don't write diary stories...oh well. Oh, you can be critical if you want to (since you write so much better than I do anyway) Sorry about making you sad... Wait, this story is angst, so it's supposed to make you sad . Yeah, I think Florina was a bit too...what's the word...oh yeah. Depressed. She gets a little better in this chapter. Hm...another Florina/Hector disliker? Interesting... The game should've given our Florina more chances at support conversations with guys! Oh well. Thanks again for such a sweet review!! And by the way, I tried to review your Rath story...but when I clicked "Submit Review", it told me that the page could not be displayed or some nonsense like that... TT  
  
Not Important1: Yeah...sorry about it being so disturbing... I didn't mean to make it so...uh...dramatically angsty, but it just came out that way. I'm glad you're still interested, though! You only like in-game couples, huh, so Hector/Florina for you? Hector being sensitive? Interesting picture... Almost like Bartre being intelligent...well, OK. Not THAT bad...hehehe. Thanks again for reviewing!  
  
Arctic Flame: Wow, thanks for the compliment! This is my first angst fic, so I'm kind of at a loss at how to proceed... You're so encouraging! Yeah, I definitely used too many sentence fragments in the first chapter... Hm, maybe Florina was too sad to think about writing longer sentences? ...Yeah. I'm glad you told me about that, since I like constructive criticism (oddly enough). Thanks again!  
  
Spectral Flame: I did think about making Hector the guy that broke Florina's heart, but I just couldn't make one of the Fire Emblem characters be that mean... As you'll find out in this chapter, the infamous guy is kind of an OC. Florina/Erk? Wow...I've never heard that one before...but, as you requested, I won't ask. You don't think Florina's the best FalcoKnight?? gasp Just kidding. Fiora's cool too, so it's OK if you think that she's the best. I'm glad you like angst fics, but unfortunately this is my first one... It's probably not that great... Oh, I'm sure you can write them a lot better than me! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Itzel: Sorry I don't know Spanish...TT But anyway...you'd like Florina/Raven? Yeah, that is strange, but it's cool too! I would never have thought of that on my own... You're so creative, unlike me...hehehe. Thanks again for your review!

* * *

They saved me...or so they tell me. After breaking the bathroom door down, my sisters grabbed me and practically dragged me to my room, where they promptly gave me a lecture. Fiora spouted her usual speech about loyalty and duty and sticking together through the hard times, while Farina agreed with her every once in a while. (Farina had never been that good with pep talks.) I listened, or pretended to listen, but they were just words. He had always had a way with words, which is probably why I fell for him. Even as I listened to dear Fiora, I couldn't get him out of my mind—or my heart.  
  
I don't really know what to think or believe or feel right now, but I do know that I'm confused. I guess that I do still love him, but I don't want to. I want to be able to scream and cry and curse his name, but I can't. His name... I remember the time that we looked up his name in a little book that he had, just for fun. Yukio—such a beautiful name with such a fitting meaning. As I flipped through the pages, giggling like the naïve little girl I was, he kept whispering into my ear.  
  
"What do you think it means?" he would ask.  
  
I would giggle and blush, and then I would try to guess to make him happy. "Strong?"  
  
He would then smile and pat my head, just like his dog. "No..." he would say. "Look in the book."  
  
"Yes, of course." I would answer, so willing to please him.  
  
Soon enough, I would find his name, and read the meaning to him. "Always gets what he wants."  
  
Then he would smile again, and look at me with his deep, brown eyes—almost so dark that they looked black. "It's true, you know," he would say. "I got you..." Then he would kiss me—passionately so that I melted in his arms, but also just soft enough for me to ache for more.  
  
As I look back, I realize that he was a manipulator, a deceiver. My sister Fiora would have recognized the game he was playing immediately, but... She's getting married, so she would know what real love looks like. How could I know...?  
  
I can't believe my big sister's getting married, and soon too. I didn't mean to throw a wrench into her perfect life with Kent, but I didn't want Yukio to... He ruined everything for us, especially Fiora. She has always been the responsible one and the caretaker of our family, so she took it so hard when I got...well, 'abused' I guess you could say. I should say sorry, but then she would just smile and hug me and tell me that everything would be alright.  
  
Farina might listen, but she would probably be uncomfortable. She has never been the best person to go to when you're in an emotional crisis... I shouldn't write such things about her! She's always been able to pay for everything I ever needed, and even if I would rather her be a little more understanding, she's still been there for me. Heck, she was the one who offered to beat Yukio up for me when he starting being a little more demanding than he should have been. I used to laugh, not really taking her seriously. I wish I had...  
  
It looks like I'm the useless one in this family. Farina takes care of the money, and Fiora takes care of everything else. So what's left for me? Nothing. I got a free ride through life, and what did I do as thanks for my sisters' hard work? I didn't listen to them when they told me to leave him, that's what I did. I ruined our good life together all for the sake of pride! And you know the worst thing? I can't even remember why I was so proud...  
  
I can hear footsteps outside my door. That must be Fiora bringing dinner; she's so responsible and caring. I should be more grateful, but I don't feel like being grateful to anyone right now. Maybe I'll tell her sorry for ruining her wedding...

* * *

Well, I told her sorry, which was a lot easier than I thought it would be. She's always been really easy to talk to. She's going to be such a great mother, and Kent's going to be a great father—the perfect couple with the perfect house and the perfect little children. I know I should be happy for her, but I can't help it—I'm jealous. Why should she get everything, and I'm here, feeling like...this? Oh right. She actually worked for her life, unlike me, who got everything handed down to her by her big sisters.  
  
Fiora said that she would forgive me if I went to her wedding to support her. I know that she was just saying that to try and get me to leave the safety of my room, but I still want to go—for her sake as well as mine. If I don't go, then she would worry about me and not be able to be happy on her wedding day... Kent would probably get worried too... Why am I such a burden to my friends and family? I think I would be able to go if Farina and Lyn were there too.  
  
Oh, that reminds me. I promised to call Lyn back, because she called yesterday a lot. I am so fortunate to have such a great friend in her... Yes, I think that if she came to the wedding with me, I would be able to go. I don't think I would be able to deal with all the people there otherwise... I guess I'll go call her now.

* * *

OK, I called Lyn, and you know what? I actually feel better now. She didn't beat around the bush or anything, so I got to talk with her about...well, everything—the good and the bad. It turns out that she's going to Fiora's wedding, and she's going to bring a friend along too. I wonder who she's going to bring...not that it really matters. Any friend of Lyn is bound to be nice, and I'm sure that we will get along.  
  
Yes, I should do as my sisters are advising: "Get out of the house, and live a little!" I used to laugh when my sisters said that, and then happily retreat to my room to curl up with a book. That is...until I met Yukio. He liked going out a lot, and so I tried to make myself believe that I liked it too. We would go everywhere together—the zoo, the mall, expensive restaurants, pretty much anywhere that was available. I never liked the noisy crowds, and sometimes, when I felt particularly brave, I would ask him if we could go the park and sit together. Then he would smile and laugh and call me silly. He just couldn't understand that I cherished the quiet and solitude of nature, instead of the roaring, business of the city.  
  
I can hear his voice right now, calling me silly—his "silly, little flower". He liked calling me that, even after I told him that I didn't really like it.  
  
"It suits you so well!" he would say.  
  
"But..." I would hesitatingly insist.  
  
"No 'buts', now!" he would interrupt, as he wagged his finger in my face condescendingly. "I think it's a great nickname, and it really does suit you. You're delicate and beautiful—just like a flower, and you need to be protected like the blossom you are." He would then wrap his arms around me possessively. "I'm the one who will always be there for you, never forget that."  
  
Oh, I never forgot. He never let me. He was there for me all the time, even when I wanted to be left alone, and that was when Fiora and Farina started to give me subtle hints—hints that I was too blind to see. Oh, dear sisters... I'm sorry for everything that I've done, and I promise that I'll make it up to you...someday.

* * *

Rebecca: Good! She's not as depressed anymore, and you may be able to keep this PG-13!  
  
Me: Yeah, I was a little worried about that, but our brave, little Florina pulled through. She deserves a reward.  
  
Rebecca: Like a boyfriend!  
  
Me: Um...yeah. Exactly...  
  
Rebecca: And I know the perfect person, too!  
  
Me: Well, actually, I let the reviews decide who Florina would end up with...  
  
Rebecca: But I wanted to be the matchmaker...  
  
Me: Oh, come on! I'm writing two stories for you, and I may even do another one-shot for you!  
  
Rebecca: OK, I'm better now. So, who is Florina going to end up with? Huh? HUH?  
  
Me: Ack! Calm down, please! Ahem...the results are as follows.  
  
Raven-1  
  
Erk-1  
  
Hector-2  
  
Wil-2  
  
Rebecca: Hey! There's a tie! You can't have a tie!!  
  
Me: I know.  
  
Rebecca: Then what are you going to do about it?!  
  
Me: Well, actually, one reviewer said that they didn't like the pair Florina/Hector at all, so I'll probably make this Florina/Wil.  
  
Rebecca: But Wil is MINE!  
  
Me: That's in your story. This is Florina's. Be nice and share, alright?  
  
Rebecca: ... ...Fine!  
  
Me: Thanks... Now be nice people and review OK?  
  
Rebecca: First you steal my boyfriend, and now you steal my job... Oh, the humanity of it all...  
  
Me: grins evilly


End file.
